Archive for March, 2009

March 3, 2009

Pak on the couch

Dr: So, Lets begin with your childhood..

Pakistan: I had a great childhood. Jinnah was the bestest daddy in the world – no matter what the other kids said.

Dr: um… what did the other kids say ?

Pakistan: They are all liars. they said that my daddy was not really my daddy. and he used to drink and eat pork.. liars liars

Dr: ok ok .. lets move on. can you tell me a little bit about your brothers

Pakistan: I had a little brother who stayed across the big bully’s house. my little brother was just like me, except smaller and a little retarded.

Dr: so you were very close then.

Pakistan : oh yes. We used to play all the time. Sometimes I had to beat my little brother so that he knew that I was the bigger and better brother. Also little brother spoke in dirty language and was not pure.

Dr: When was the last time you spoke to your little brother ?

Pakistan: he turned out to be a real bastard. He and the bully beat me up and threw me out of his house. I still visit sometimes in the night to kick his puppies a little bit.

Dr: Don’t you think that maybe you were wrong ?

Pakistan: he is my little brother. I always wanted good for him. That’s why I used to beat him. Its all that bully’s fault. All his fault. I will kill the bully .. kill kill kill kill

Dr: all right, all right .. calm down. you must have made other friends while growing up ?

Pakistan: I had lots good friend’s when growing up.. There was this big white kid from far would would give me so many toys. and there was this little yellow guy always nice to me. We would all get together and beat up the bully

Dr: So you hated the bully, did you ?

Pakistan: hate, hate, hate. I spent many nights thinking of ways I could hate the bully. I wanted to rip it apart and and and.. kill kill kill

Dr: ooooook.. moving on.. so what happened yesterday ?

Pakistan: The bully – he came to my house and beat up my guests.

Dr: are you sure that’s what happened? Do you feel bad when no one looks at you ?

Pakistan: No one ever looks at me when I do good. they all look at me only when I am bad.

Dr: Have you ever been bad so that people will look at you ?

Pakistan: ………

Dr: think hard..

Pakistan: I like being bad. People are scared of me. They talk about me.. Sometimes they even give me candy so i wont be bad.

Dr: And how does that make you feel ?

Pakistan: The candy makes me excited. I run around and I run around and then I crash…. and then the bully takes my candy away… kill bully .. kill .. kill kill

Dr: have you ever taken medication for your rage ?

Pakistan: Medication is for sissies – I want more candy .. more candy … argh.. I kill you

Dr: Have you ever considered lobotomy ?

Pakistan: I kill you.. I kill all of you. bad man.. bad bully. candy.. toys.. I kill you. My daddy bestest! I kill you

March 2, 2009

close encounter of the WTF kind

If you are in Hyderabad, do not miss the latest giant poster of Chiru dada (Chiranjeevi – Tollywood sooper star – also known as the man straddling all top 10 positions in Telugu cinema) next to KBR park. Chiru side – by – side with …. hold on to your assorted beanies…. OBAMA ! and the slogan ? – Change ! Both of them – same stature – same pose with right hand upheld demanding change. Except Chiru want to literally change AP into Telangana.

Rumour has it that there is another one of Chiru sharing canvas with Gautum Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther king and managing to hold his own… hmm..  Chiru Chiru Chiru  !

And before anyone else molests the cliche – The Indian Election Circus has truly begun.

On a completely different WTF, someone else brought to my attention Kalyan Singh, Mulayam Singh and congress may be allying. all the viewpoints involved in the Babri masjid.  No matter how you trade these horses  – their manure always raises a fresh stink.

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